Language and Identity - A Joke!

An e-mail is being circulated which also came to me yesterday about the possiblity of English as the official language of the European Union. This may not be true, because the following has been taken from  www.ahajokes.com which is not found anymore. one can find this in http://www.nairaland.com/1053641/european-commission-adopt-english-official 

It seems to be interesting how certain changes in english would look like:

Enjoy the joke.

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as 

"Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and 

keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen world!

Language certainly has an important role to play in human culture and identity. It would be hard for many to give up and think that language is only a tool for communication. The contemporary world should learn to live  with multilingusitic communities and diversity. The liberals often speak of rights and understanding humanism plainly based on human dignity. The strict secular regimes often claim that multiculturalism is no good to maintain human dignity but only narrows down our vision. The choice of one language as official can only result in misrecognition...... 

But why do also people in the liberal state become so fundamentalist about language? Nine months ago, the European was accused that it faours English by the French Press.[http://www.euractiv.com/culture/commission-denies-english-langua-news-513705] The problem may still continue... who knows?

A Stranger is not a Stranger

It was 14^th October 2012. I was travelling from Germany in a train. I could not speak German well since it is not my mother tongue. Very few suffer like me.  But many today speak in many languages as though using the ‘shift’ key in a computer. I find it difficult to switch between three languages. I wonder how people do that between five and six. 

I was hesitant to start a conversation with a stranger who was sitting next to me because he was speaking in German with some of his friends. Another wonder with the system of the railways, when you book the ticket together you do not get adjacent seats. You find always a stranger inside. You have to personally and verbally request the stranger to change the place. In India they ask you to even change coaches. Here they are very hesitant even to request to sit in the next seat. What is given is given – but it also means that they do not want to intrude in what is given to them. More, one does not know how the other would react.

I was already a stranger in the train, and still a remote stranger between the companions who traveled together. Even with a stranger who is doubly alienated, a conversation could be initiated. It starts from silence. who said  one needs language to communicate? A peaceful silence that has a smile normally kicks off with a common, agreeing note like mamma mia – che caldo! Or what a bright and sunny day? Well if there is no smile, then there is no conversation. Even if there were to be one it will be cold, hard, and strict NO.

I had already smiled and he reciprocated it. After entering Austrian the border we started speaking about the rivers that flow, the climate, and the European Union. He and I shared the same feeling that this union could be a model for other continents in living together irrespective of different languages. I told him that India too has a model - which house different languages and culture. He thought that India has a single language. It was a revelation for him to know that the north Indians do not understand the south Indians and vice versa.  

India is a country but European Union is not.

... To be continued ...